Ross Allen having a rant

This just made me laugh so much I had to post it. I think there is a meaning to all of this but you need to read it all the way to the end... I love it when people have a rant... there's a fine line between being funny and sounding like a twat and Ross (although he is usually the latter - he pushed me in a pool the first time i met him) is very funny here.. and factual!

Morning All

Here we are again... A few days after Carnival and don't you have the feeling of how did we get here this fast ? Summer over ? Heading in to winter all too rapidly, wasn't it sunny June just a few weeks ago - still it's been pretty decent - well August was a bit drab but lets not forget that September is still here and is normal pretty good, in an Indian kind of way (what is India like in September ?) - more to the point the issue is that it'll be November any time now ! Bleak...Still a few more festivals to come. I have my Bestival set times in now and am more than looking forward to that...warming up for Gil Scott Heron on the main stage 5.30 to 6pm. Then at the Greco Roman/Hot Chip party on Friday night in the Lucky Cat bar behind the main stage. Then again on Sat early eve in Chai Wallah tent. So there you either know where to head or where to avoid. Lets hope its as decent as normal and we don't drown.

That's a couple of weekends away This week its all about The Social Meltdown, an exciting proposition, that lots of you seem to be getting excited about too, I think the timing of it could be part of its appeal - definitely not the music from me ! Starting early means that if you fancy popping down after work you now have a decent spot with quality music straight after work and it goes on till club hours start. I'll give you the details at the end but its this Friday and Goodhand & Nelson, though I am sure one of them is called Adam, from Glasgow's Numbers Crew are my initial guests.

Talking of 'clubbing' and 'clubber's' . Clapham Common was deluged with those types over the weekend. Leading me to post on Facebook that they should all Fuck Off and leave the Common in peace... we got some good responses many levelling the argument that I was of that disposition myself. Well, to the untrained eye, true I have been to a few nighteries over the years. But a 'clubber', in 'club land' ?? Use those terms ? No... And this is the difference. And do not forget I am about to embark on a major bitching session but it is a view that I think I can share with you lot, it's not even my original observation (Cheesr Ted & Iain). Obviously, I have been to many clubs but would I refer to myslef as a 'clubber' ? going out in 'clubland' ? These types are a different breed. Sort of a mainstream incarnation of what, I think, we do. Yes, I am a snob. I thought that was part of clubbing (ah, I have now done it myself, tricky this bitching lark isn't it) - to get away from the rif raf. It makes you wish that acid house had never happened ! Not that I mind them having a good time but it kind of blurs the line between good and evil... I used to like going out when i was at school as it was a journey into another world - The Wag, The Mud Club, RAW - they were totally different to being down the pub in South London - full of freaks and weirdo's, Ragga's and B-boys. You would wear different clothes and be into getting exposed to new and different sounds. Then Acid House came along and it was great for a while, really great, though you could feel the shift as every one locally swapped pints for pills. The they started to know about stuff and have an opinion on the music and how it should be more banging or uplifting or whatever... You would go to the Wag and not dream of asking for a request, well definitely one that was off that cultural radar... Fast forward to now... that boundary is well blurred. There is money in it now and everyone wants a piece - you gotta keep the crowd happy, pump it up, don't disappear up your own back side... well i quite like it up my own backside and though i have enjoyed playing to 10,000's of people occasionally, don't want to do it every week as I' don't like what you have to do to do that... play shit ! you can't move those vast throngs with deep, quirky records - you need that Pavlov's dogs reaction - banging beat = dance, ambient break down/wiggly noise breakdown= rest/brace yourself for the beat's return - drum roll please !! Anyway they can do what they want I just don't want them doing it near me, there is a them and us thing in my head. The music I like is right and their is plain wrong. And when they are doing it on my Common they can Fuck Off !! Snobby little shit aren't I ?

Ah that feels better - well apart from nail bombing the place.... Hypocrisy is rife round here and why not. As I like invading other peoples areas for music festivals where they play my kind of music (I did get called Negrofile this week... I think I know what it means, though that element of doubt means I can't confirm either way) - Carnival was a laugh . Though we didn't hang around for long. Off the tube at Queensway and a whizz through in pretty good time - a couple of hours - and out the other end in Queens Park for a curry. Kind of like popping yourself in to a fast flowing river and getting popped out the other end - a few dodgy rapids on the way but some lovely sights and sounds en route. I never got in to Major Lazer this year as I could n't be bothered to queue or suck up to the door girls, or fight to - i think this has been a constant 'clubbing' weakness in my 'clubbing' career. But Glady Wax and KCC were great, especially when the latter played 'Gabrielle' after the near knife we witnessed. KCC was like being in some henched up Prison Yard, nice blokes but you knew that things were on a bit of a knife edge, probably quite literally but 99% of the crowd were just there to bounce in the sun and have hazy fun. The slight fracas we saw never turned into anything and we trotted on on our whirl wind tour. It was a good in and out, though I have heard lots of people bemoaning the state of Carnival these days, yes it's different but there is a good time to be had if you can hack the crowds and don't mind searching out its inner sanctum. We were so serene this year, it was almost wrong. Nice curry at the other though...

On Sunday we were in Leeds - I was DJing on stage with Afrikan Boy, which is something that I have never done and did feel I should be doing a bit of Guetta business... Waving and so forth... I didn't but felt tempted... when you know exactly what is coming next what do you do in the gaps that are the records ? You can't hide behind the decks desperately looking for that next track and letting indecision reign. You actually know what is coming next and just look into the faces of the crowd pressed up against those barriers. I almost felt like giving them a wave in a non Guetta type of way. I liked it when there was a stage invasion, the chaos created and the look on the securities face was classic, let alone the chasing of the invaders. Anyway it was a good gig and as soon as I can play you the new Afrikan Boy stuff I will. It's quality. Fresh, funky and, slightly, challenging. I'd give it 2 minutes on Clapham Common... No it'd work there too ! You will hear it here first.

Once done with that we got to see Queens Of The Stone Age who were as great as ever. They just have that funk in what they do and that nonchalant attitude that draws you in. 'We are here, like it ? Cool. Don't like it ? Fuck Off' and I suppose that is the attitude that is most sexy in music. It's the realist one I suppose. Not please like us we need to pay our rent/buy a big house/drive a shit car and wear shit clothes. More we are gonna do this whether you are here or not (kind of a Meltdown mantra, though its always better if there are people there). Well I like it. They are a great band. You need to see them at some point.

So enough of this frippery, we have a show to try and get you to listen to. It was not done live post Carnival as I had a curry to eat, oh and the Misery studios where shut ! It's a good one though. There are several tunes which are pretty special. I have to get you excited about the new Kanye West track featuring Jay Z and Swiss Beats on the Remix. It's a great fat beat, slightly busy but funky and the lyrics are actually saying something. J and K sound great and then just towards the end, Swiss beats drops in the beat from Snap's 'I've Got The Power' and it all gets a bit housey, almost Photon Inc's 'Generate Power'. It's a great track but also indicative of where things are going and as the circle comes to completion it all feels a bit 1991. I like the fact that the boundaries between house and hip hop are getting blurred - it's kind of like when they were both underground musics except now they are both mainstream. Its great because you can once again play all different musics in a main room, well you can if you have the bottle, The other side of that same coin is seen with the new Nick Catchdubs remixes. We Played Greg Nice's 'Motherfucker' last week and this week he is doing it again with his Ethix remix. Sampling the 4th Measure Men and adding an electro beat. Its got that Todd Terry/Kenny Dope kind of vibe and is amazing, well they both are. Energetic and fresh but steeped in the past. Also Phil Asher's track is in that mode, rough and tough and funky, how he should sound. Other gems are the Janelle Monae remix which takes it to the dancefloor. There are some good funky, future, dubby, garagey things of which Jam City and Quoz lift the cup this week. 80's Baby is a dubstep track that sounds like it was made in 1984 - not because it's a horrific vision of a CCTV/Big Brother watching future (we are already there) - just coz it sounds like Mtume or something of a Street Sounds compilation. DJ Distance is fast becoming my favourite dubstep vocal. I cant get enough of it.

On a retro tip Dennis Parker is great and the vocal sample from Par T One's 'Lets Go Crazy' and Linda Di Franco is 80's balearic goodness. The brilliantly named Tea Spoon and The Waves is a great South African take on 'Going Back To My Roots'. Also to finish there is a great Hungarian version of The Clash's 'Magnificent Seven', Joe Strummer would have been proud...

Do give it a listen or download it it's a good one. As diverse as selection as ever and more than likely to tear gas a Clapham Common festival in minutes !!

The Meltdown on Ministry Of Sound August 30th 2010

Stream here
http://www.ministryofsound.com/radio/artist/RossAllen

Download the show here
http://www.sendspace.com/file/a4q1on


Calibre - Steptoe - Signature 12"
Skream feat D Bridge & Instramental - Reflections - Tempa CD - from LP Outside The Box
Lee Perry - Dub Plate Pressure - Pressure Sounds LP - from LP Sound System Scratch
Erykah Badu - Honey (Reggae Refix) - Hard Food 7"
Kanye West, Jay Z & Swiss Beats - The Power (Remix) - CDR
Jerome Sydenham - Sting - UK Promotions 12"
Ethix - Breaking Bad (Nick Catchdubs & Proper Villains Remix)
Funkineven - Another Space - Eglo CDR
Jessie Ware - Nervous Radio Strings - CDR
Janelle Monae - Do or Die (Nirobi Remix) - download
Quoz - Dreaming - download
Likhan - Boston - 7even 12"
Michael Watford - For Your Love (Dazzle Drums Remix) - Soundmen On Wax 12"
Phil Asher - Get Up, Get Out - download

Hour 2

DJ Distance - Falling - Chest Plate download
Quest - 80's Baby - Deep Mehdi download
Mtume - Juicy Fruit - Epic 12"
Linda Di Franco - My Boss - Korova 12"
Dennis Parker - like An Eagle - Casablanca 12"
Arcade Fire - Sprawl 2 (Boundaries Beyond Mountains) - Merge CD - from LP Suburbs
Teaspoon & The Waves - Oh Yea Soweto - Sofrito 12"
Gal Costa - Von Recomecar - download
Alex Patchwork - Ife Bobowa - CDR
Untold - Flygirls - Soul Jazz CD - from LP Future Bass Compltn
Gremino - It's Working - Rag & Bone EP
Jam City - Exta - Night Slugs 12"
Kokolo - The Magnificent Seven (The Uptown Felaz Remix) - Shiftin Gears 12"

So back to the Social Meltdown. It's this Friday, starts at, well I'll be there from 6pm, they are threatening drinks freeness early and it's on till 1am. It's at The Social, Little Portland Street, W1. Full details are here

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504118744#!/group.php?gid=105066019549980&ref=mf

Join the group if you can/like and there is a mix up there that you can download that is very Social Meltdown ish...

Guest for this week in the coming weeks are...

3rd September - Goodhand & Nelson from the Numbers Crew who are ace and are on THIS FRIDAY
10th September - I am off to Bestival so we hand over the reigns to The Sounds Of The Universe Crew, from the shop and putting on some great do's of late
17th September - Ashley Beedle
24th September - Various Productions

There are tonnes more lined up that we will set up dates for and let you know, some will be unannounced and very special, well they are all special just some are more hyped than others.

Cheers and see you on Friday

Ross

PS...If you are not into going out and fancy a TV tip I cannot recommend highly enough 'In Their Own Words'. It's great stuff, features some amazing contemporary authors that chart the history and issues of the last century through fiction. It is a good read. I learned a lot... This is the last installment but all three are great

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00tlvtj/b00tlvt6/In_Their_Own_Words_British_Novelists_Nothing_Sacred_%2819701990%29/